In verse 51 of the Torah portion, Bo, Moses leads the Jewish people out of Egypt. The Torah tells us that there were 600,000 men between the ages of 20 - 60. Presumably, there were at least that many women, plus children and the elderly. Most commentators estimate the total number of Jews that left Egypt to be roughly 3 million people.
The Torah also tells us that Jacob entered Egypt with a total of 70 people, not including the wives of Jacob’s sons. Our sages tell us that we were in Egypt a total of 210 years.
You may be thinking… wait a minute… 70 people grow to 3 million in 210 years? Well… it gets worse.
The Rabbis tell us that that there was a large portion of the Jewish people that didn’t want to leave Egypt. The great Torah commentator, Rashi, tells is that they were so assimilated into Egyptian culture that they didn’t deserve to be freed. This was one of the purposes of the 9th plague, darkness. During this plague, all of the assimilated Jews died and the other Jews buried them. G-d didn’t want the Egyptians to have the pleasure of watching Jews bury other Jews so he left them in darkness until it was complete. The Rabbis tell us that they buried 80% of the Jews during the plague of darkness. If that’s the case, then 3 million only represents 20% of the Jewish people, there were roughly 15 million Jews at the beginning of the plagues.
So, how did we grow from 70 or so to 15 million? Doesn’t seem possible. One may be tempted to think that the Torah was grossly exaggerating the number of Jews that left, but the Torah doesn’t grossly exaggerate. Let’s do the math and see what we come up with.
Jacob arrived in Egypt with 70 people.
Out of that 70, we’ll subtract him, his wives and his sons since they were done having kids. We’ll also subtract is daughters and granddaughters so we have a total of 51 grandsons of Jacob in Egypt. Rashi also tells us that the Jewish women in Egypt had “legions” of children. I don’t know how many a legion constitutes, but I’ve heard the figure 12 thrown around. Let’s assume that the average generation is 33 years.
So, by year 33 in Egypt, these 51 men had married 51 women and had a total of 612 children.
At year 66, these 612 people had 3,672 children.
Year 99 produced 22,032 children.
Year 132 produced 132,192 children.
Year 165 produced 793,152 children.
Year 198 produced 4,758,912 children.
The Jewish people left 12 years later. Assuming that the generation which left only produced 6 kids before they left, that would bring us to a figure of over 14 million people.
These are obviously estimates. It’s quite possible that some people had fewer kids, but I’m sure some people had more. Also, since people lives well past 100, several generations went out at the same time. The exact numbers aren’t so important. What is important is that the Torah is ultimate truth. If we ever reach a topic where we don’t think that mathematics or any science can coexist with what the Torah tells us, instead of casting a doubt on Torah, we should be patient and give science some time to get things right.
On the roof of the Aish center looking down at the Western Wall with Chevra & Davai in 2011
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Beit Shemesh – The combination of insensitivity and intolerance.
The other day I was speaking with a friend about the incidents going on in Beit Shemesh between the ultra orthodox and others there. According to my friend, the attacks committed by some of the ultra orthodox on people that they deem dressed or acting immodestly are simply unforgivable and they and everyone like them should be held accountable. He went as far as saying that he didn’t consider these people Jews. With some exception, the greater Jewish world seems to have a similar reaction. A bunch of questions come to mind…
1. Should we be blaming the many for the actions of the few? Just because many of the ultra orthodox look alike to us, does that mean they are all the same and the entire community is guilty, because of the terrible actions of the few? What responsibility do we have for each other’s actions?
2. As Ba’al Teshuvas, we are particularly sensitive to words like “unforgivable.” While embarrassing someone, spitting on them or hitting them are crimes… not Jewish values, are they really unforgivable?
3. Even though no physical attack in the name of modesty is justified, should we, the greater Jewish people, be more sensitive to the beliefs of the ultra orthodox? Or, should we just say that they should be more tolerant of us? To take the previous question further, does freedom of expression ever go so far that it shouldn’t be tolerated?
I would hope that we all would agree that if one person sins, it’s their sin alone. They’re neighbor is not guilty. In my article “When is it OK to rebuke someone?” I discuss that one is only permitted to rebuke someone if they believe that their rebuke will be affective. If one believes that their rebuke will not have the desired effect, they are obligated to keep their mouth shut. Just because there are some ultra orthodox are guilty of attacking other Jews does not mean that the greater Jewish community is guilty. We need to try to inspire or educate anyone we see committing a sin to the best of their ability. We do have a responsibility, but it ends with doing the best that we can. Condemning all ultra orthodox Jews in Beit Shemesh would be no different then condemning all Jews of any town if some of their residence sinned.
Rabbi Berel Wein often says “Don’t judge Judaism by the actions of Jews.” There are Jews that sin. Some of the Jews have no kippahs or beards and some of them have very long beards and black hats. It would be nice to think that all Jews who look very religious always act in a kind and pious fashion. The reality is that we’re all people. We have weaknesses, faults, misguided beliefs and we often make mistakes. However we’re commanded to love every single Jew. That doesn’t mean that we have to love all of their actions, but we have to love them as brothers. Keeping in mind that the word Teshuva means “return”, we all should be doing teshuva no matter how long our beard is. Nobody is so far gone that they’re beyond teshuva.
There’s a balance between freedom of expression and taking it too far. The most common adage is that freedom of speech doesn’t give someone the right to scream “Fire” in a crowded theatre. I love America and hold our freedoms dear, but I’m going to ask the following questions….
Should a gay rights demonstration be held outside the Vatican?
Should a religious (Jewish or otherwise) denouncing homosexuality as an abomination demonstrate outside at a gay bar?
Should the KKK demonstrate outside a black church?
Should Nazi’s demonstrate outside your synagogue?
Should women in bikinis have a swim suit competition at the Western Wall?
These are all extreme examples, but I wanted to use them to illustrate the point that sometimes freedom of expression infringes upon the rights of others rights to the pursuit of happiness and peace of mind. Extreme examples are easy for us to identify… what’s harder is things like – Should immodestly dressed women go through certain neighborhood where the residents would be offended? Since I doubt that anyone reading this article will participate in any of these events we’ll leave it to the courts to decide what is acceptable and what is too far.
I do believe that we have a personal responsibility to be sensitive to all of those around us. The whole idea of Derech Eretz (way of the land) is exactly this point. Unfortunately, some of the incidents in Beit Shemesh have been the combination of insensitivity and violent intolerance. We should all strive to find ways to improve ourselves and our relationships with all of those around us until its contagiousness forms one people… Am Yisroal.
1. Should we be blaming the many for the actions of the few? Just because many of the ultra orthodox look alike to us, does that mean they are all the same and the entire community is guilty, because of the terrible actions of the few? What responsibility do we have for each other’s actions?
2. As Ba’al Teshuvas, we are particularly sensitive to words like “unforgivable.” While embarrassing someone, spitting on them or hitting them are crimes… not Jewish values, are they really unforgivable?
3. Even though no physical attack in the name of modesty is justified, should we, the greater Jewish people, be more sensitive to the beliefs of the ultra orthodox? Or, should we just say that they should be more tolerant of us? To take the previous question further, does freedom of expression ever go so far that it shouldn’t be tolerated?
I would hope that we all would agree that if one person sins, it’s their sin alone. They’re neighbor is not guilty. In my article “When is it OK to rebuke someone?” I discuss that one is only permitted to rebuke someone if they believe that their rebuke will be affective. If one believes that their rebuke will not have the desired effect, they are obligated to keep their mouth shut. Just because there are some ultra orthodox are guilty of attacking other Jews does not mean that the greater Jewish community is guilty. We need to try to inspire or educate anyone we see committing a sin to the best of their ability. We do have a responsibility, but it ends with doing the best that we can. Condemning all ultra orthodox Jews in Beit Shemesh would be no different then condemning all Jews of any town if some of their residence sinned.
Rabbi Berel Wein often says “Don’t judge Judaism by the actions of Jews.” There are Jews that sin. Some of the Jews have no kippahs or beards and some of them have very long beards and black hats. It would be nice to think that all Jews who look very religious always act in a kind and pious fashion. The reality is that we’re all people. We have weaknesses, faults, misguided beliefs and we often make mistakes. However we’re commanded to love every single Jew. That doesn’t mean that we have to love all of their actions, but we have to love them as brothers. Keeping in mind that the word Teshuva means “return”, we all should be doing teshuva no matter how long our beard is. Nobody is so far gone that they’re beyond teshuva.
There’s a balance between freedom of expression and taking it too far. The most common adage is that freedom of speech doesn’t give someone the right to scream “Fire” in a crowded theatre. I love America and hold our freedoms dear, but I’m going to ask the following questions….
Should a gay rights demonstration be held outside the Vatican?
Should a religious (Jewish or otherwise) denouncing homosexuality as an abomination demonstrate outside at a gay bar?
Should the KKK demonstrate outside a black church?
Should Nazi’s demonstrate outside your synagogue?
Should women in bikinis have a swim suit competition at the Western Wall?
These are all extreme examples, but I wanted to use them to illustrate the point that sometimes freedom of expression infringes upon the rights of others rights to the pursuit of happiness and peace of mind. Extreme examples are easy for us to identify… what’s harder is things like – Should immodestly dressed women go through certain neighborhood where the residents would be offended? Since I doubt that anyone reading this article will participate in any of these events we’ll leave it to the courts to decide what is acceptable and what is too far.
I do believe that we have a personal responsibility to be sensitive to all of those around us. The whole idea of Derech Eretz (way of the land) is exactly this point. Unfortunately, some of the incidents in Beit Shemesh have been the combination of insensitivity and violent intolerance. We should all strive to find ways to improve ourselves and our relationships with all of those around us until its contagiousness forms one people… Am Yisroal.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Torah Thought: Parsha Va’eira
This weeks Torah portion describes the first 7 of the 10 plagues that G-d inflicts upon the Egyptians to help persuade Pharaoh to release the Jewish people from their slavery so that they could worship G-d without restriction.
Throughout the first several plagues, the Torah tells us that Pharaoh strengthened his heart and would not let the Jews leave. As a reaction to this, G-d slowly increased the severity of the plagues as a punishment to Pharaoh. After the 6th plague, we see something changes. The Torah tells us in Chapter 9, verse 12 that “G-d strengthened the heart of Pharaoh” and he did not free the Jewish people.
This leads us to the question of why does G-d continue to punish Pharaoh if G-d is interfering with Pharaoh’s free choice to do the right thing? One could argue that Pharaoh and the Egyptians deserved to be punished for their treatment of the Jewish people in the past and their current choice to prolong the slavery has nothing to do with their punishments. That seems logical at first, but still doesn’t answer why G-d hardened Pharaoh’s heart. If he deserved to be punished for previous transgressions, then G-d could have punished him no matter what choices he makes now.
Rabbi Schneur Zalmon tells us that if a righteous person works on themselves and prays enough, it’s possible that they can receive divine assistance to eliminate their desires to do evil. Even on a smaller scale, it seems that when people set out to do good, G-d grants them assistance. We’re taught in the Ethics of our Fathers that one mitzvah leads to another mitzvah. I had a similar experience when I first started dating my wife. She had moved into a new apartment in Philadelphia. Everything was fine until she quickly realized that whenever she left her building, at night, the neighbor’s motion detector set off an automatic light. This was helpful during the week, but posed a concern for Shabbas and holidays. We discussed all different options about what she could do… stay in her home every Friday night and early Saturday evening… stay at someone else’s home every Shabbas. Neither one was so convenient, but what options did she have to be able to live a normal life and still keep the Shabbas. We were racking our brains out when one night she discovered that if she walked a certain patter against the wall, she could get into and out of her apartment without setting off the light. It seemed as clear proof that G-d helps those that want to do good. *
If G-d helps people make the right choices and do mitzvahs when they want to, then presumable the opposite is also correct. As I observed many times, in my non religious days, when people set out to do things that aren’t holy, they seem to have no trouble finding it. If someone wants to go out and get into a fight, they’ll find someone to fight with. If someone wants to go out and have improper relations, they’ll also find a partner.
It would seem that the L-rd helps people accomplish whatever they set out to do. If someone sets out to do a mitzvah, G-d will give them an opportunity and even give them the strength to accomplish it. If someone sets out to do evil, G-d forbid, then the L-rd will present them with opportunities to get into trouble and remove any inspiration to do otherwise. The Rabbis tell us that ancient Egypt was the height of moral depravity. As it’s leader, we assume that Pharaoh was the worst one of them all. Since G-d created the world in 6 days, the number 6 represents the physical world. After Pharaoh hardened his own hear 6 times, it created a lasting effect, and G-d helped Pharaoh stay true to his own wicked intentions.
* I’ve said in many times on BThandbook.com that my goal is not to tell you what the Jewish laws are, but to help people incorporate them into their lives. I later learned that even if my wife (then girlfriend) didn’t find a way to enter and leave without setting off the exterior light, it may have been permissible to enter and leave anyway. The laws are complex so if you find yourself in a similar situation, please consult a competent orthodox Rabbi.
Throughout the first several plagues, the Torah tells us that Pharaoh strengthened his heart and would not let the Jews leave. As a reaction to this, G-d slowly increased the severity of the plagues as a punishment to Pharaoh. After the 6th plague, we see something changes. The Torah tells us in Chapter 9, verse 12 that “G-d strengthened the heart of Pharaoh” and he did not free the Jewish people.
This leads us to the question of why does G-d continue to punish Pharaoh if G-d is interfering with Pharaoh’s free choice to do the right thing? One could argue that Pharaoh and the Egyptians deserved to be punished for their treatment of the Jewish people in the past and their current choice to prolong the slavery has nothing to do with their punishments. That seems logical at first, but still doesn’t answer why G-d hardened Pharaoh’s heart. If he deserved to be punished for previous transgressions, then G-d could have punished him no matter what choices he makes now.
Rabbi Schneur Zalmon tells us that if a righteous person works on themselves and prays enough, it’s possible that they can receive divine assistance to eliminate their desires to do evil. Even on a smaller scale, it seems that when people set out to do good, G-d grants them assistance. We’re taught in the Ethics of our Fathers that one mitzvah leads to another mitzvah. I had a similar experience when I first started dating my wife. She had moved into a new apartment in Philadelphia. Everything was fine until she quickly realized that whenever she left her building, at night, the neighbor’s motion detector set off an automatic light. This was helpful during the week, but posed a concern for Shabbas and holidays. We discussed all different options about what she could do… stay in her home every Friday night and early Saturday evening… stay at someone else’s home every Shabbas. Neither one was so convenient, but what options did she have to be able to live a normal life and still keep the Shabbas. We were racking our brains out when one night she discovered that if she walked a certain patter against the wall, she could get into and out of her apartment without setting off the light. It seemed as clear proof that G-d helps those that want to do good. *
If G-d helps people make the right choices and do mitzvahs when they want to, then presumable the opposite is also correct. As I observed many times, in my non religious days, when people set out to do things that aren’t holy, they seem to have no trouble finding it. If someone wants to go out and get into a fight, they’ll find someone to fight with. If someone wants to go out and have improper relations, they’ll also find a partner.
It would seem that the L-rd helps people accomplish whatever they set out to do. If someone sets out to do a mitzvah, G-d will give them an opportunity and even give them the strength to accomplish it. If someone sets out to do evil, G-d forbid, then the L-rd will present them with opportunities to get into trouble and remove any inspiration to do otherwise. The Rabbis tell us that ancient Egypt was the height of moral depravity. As it’s leader, we assume that Pharaoh was the worst one of them all. Since G-d created the world in 6 days, the number 6 represents the physical world. After Pharaoh hardened his own hear 6 times, it created a lasting effect, and G-d helped Pharaoh stay true to his own wicked intentions.
* I’ve said in many times on BThandbook.com that my goal is not to tell you what the Jewish laws are, but to help people incorporate them into their lives. I later learned that even if my wife (then girlfriend) didn’t find a way to enter and leave without setting off the exterior light, it may have been permissible to enter and leave anyway. The laws are complex so if you find yourself in a similar situation, please consult a competent orthodox Rabbi.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Dear Beth, Is there a dress code in Judaism?
Dear Beth, *
As a newly observant Jew, I find it hard to figure out what the dress code to observant Judaism is.
Aside from Kippahs for men and hats or wigs for married women, how do I need to dress to be considered a religious Jew?
Yours truly,
Closet full of clothes and nothing to wear
Dear Closet,
Like Most things, Judaism does have what to say about how we dress, but it’s very different than most of us think. Before I go through some of that, I thought it would be helpful to recap some of the statements that either I or my wife has heard observant Jews say over the years.
“Someone who wears jeans to shul on Shabbas should go home and change”
“I don’t see how a woman who wears pants can consider herself religious.”
A remark to me once when I was wearing sandals on a hot summer Sunday afternoon “Did you go off the derech?” (Derech means path or way. Basically, he was asking me if I am still an observant Jew)
“Unless you’re Israeli or Chassidish, a man should wear a tie at the Shabbas afternoon service. What is this? Casual Mincha?
“Get out of here and come back when you’re wearing a decent jacket” This was a story told to me by my mother about what a reformed Rabbi said to someone wearing a plaid suit jacket on Rosh Hashanah in the 1960s.
There are a lot of factors that dictate what a Jew should or shouldn’t wear on a regular basis. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. We should dress in moderate, clean clothing ** Dressing in dirty or ripped clothing is not appropriate. Obviously, if someone is a mechanic or a gardener, their work clothes are going to get dirty. This law doesn’t mean that they have to look like their going to the opera when they’re going to work in the mud. This also goes for clothing with colorful language on it. Use your judgment and you’ll be fine.
2. We should not imitate the styles and clothing of the non Jew *** ideally, we should stick to our own styles of clothing and not spend our time, energy or money on what the latest trends are.
3. We should not to wear extravagant or flashy clothing. **** We should dress nice, but we should also be modest in both dress and behavior. This is one of the reasons why so many observant Jews gravitate to black and white clothing. I don’t think that a little color in one’s wardrobe is a violation of Jewish law, but if your clothes are so flashy that when you walk into a room, everyone turns to stare, you may want to choose something else to wear. This doesn’t mean that one should go out looking ugly, but it does mean that we should make efforts to be the most looked at person in the room.
4. We should wear clothing the covers our body *****. There are a lot of opinions out there regarding to what extent this goes. I’m not going to deal with the specifics, but the idea is the same as modesty. If your clothing is such that it draws attention to features of your body that we ideally shouldn’t want, it may not be the best idea.
5. A man should wear clothes designed for men and a woman should wear clothes designed for women. The most common area of controversy in this area is whether a woman can wear pants or not. From what I read, it seems like if a woman wore pants that were designed for women, she would not be violating any Jewish law. However, it’s become the custom of Jewish women not to do so publicly. It’s less common for men to wear women’s clothing, but the same rules apply.
6. Especially when we pray, we should dress as if we were standing before a king. Keeping all this in mind, all Jews should try to dress appropriate to the best of their ability, but they should keep in mind wear they are spiritually and not push themselves into overload. For man, it would be great if I would wear a suit and tie every time I prayed, but if I happened to be at the beach when the time for prayer arrived, it would be much better to pray in a bathing suit then to not pray at the appointment time. Also, if you’re one of those people who hate wearing a tie, don’t push yourself too hard. Some people take this a step further and rightfully say that since G-d is with them all the time, they should always dress formally. This is very admirable, but not required by Jewish law. It’s slightly off topic, but its falls under the general category of dressing up. There’s an interesting phenomenon in our society, where a man or woman will get dressed up to go face the world, but when they come home to their spouses, they strip off the make up and change into clothes that are more comfortable and less faltering. While we should be comfortable in our own homes, we should also keep in mind that they most important person to look attractive to is one’s spouse.
7. Black hats, long coats and gartels (strings that Chassidic men wrap around their waste.) These are clearly in the realm of customs and stringencies. If your Rabbi or spiritual mentor wears things like this and you want to imitate him, great. If not, it’s no big deal. They are not necessary to be an observant Jew, but can be a stepping stone for someone who has already reached a stable level in his observance and wants to push themselves higher.
All of this being said, I believe the most important thing is this letter isn’t if we dress properly, but how we relate to people around us who we don’t believe are dressed properly. Dressing properly is extremely important, but always keep in mind that when we learn a new law or custom, we should focus on how we can improve ourselves, not how we can improve our neighbor. The best thing you can do to inspire your friend and neighbor is become and inspiration by leading by example.
* This is a fictional letter that discusses a real problem that BTs go through. There is a lot of confusion out there regarding what is or isn’t acceptable dress and not a lot of practical advice on it. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com.
** Kitzur Shulchen Aruch, Chapter 3
*** ibid.
**** ibid
***** Shulchen Aruch HaRav, Chapter 2
As a newly observant Jew, I find it hard to figure out what the dress code to observant Judaism is.
Aside from Kippahs for men and hats or wigs for married women, how do I need to dress to be considered a religious Jew?
Yours truly,
Closet full of clothes and nothing to wear
Dear Closet,
Like Most things, Judaism does have what to say about how we dress, but it’s very different than most of us think. Before I go through some of that, I thought it would be helpful to recap some of the statements that either I or my wife has heard observant Jews say over the years.
“Someone who wears jeans to shul on Shabbas should go home and change”
“I don’t see how a woman who wears pants can consider herself religious.”
A remark to me once when I was wearing sandals on a hot summer Sunday afternoon “Did you go off the derech?” (Derech means path or way. Basically, he was asking me if I am still an observant Jew)
“Unless you’re Israeli or Chassidish, a man should wear a tie at the Shabbas afternoon service. What is this? Casual Mincha?
“Get out of here and come back when you’re wearing a decent jacket” This was a story told to me by my mother about what a reformed Rabbi said to someone wearing a plaid suit jacket on Rosh Hashanah in the 1960s.
There are a lot of factors that dictate what a Jew should or shouldn’t wear on a regular basis. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. We should dress in moderate, clean clothing ** Dressing in dirty or ripped clothing is not appropriate. Obviously, if someone is a mechanic or a gardener, their work clothes are going to get dirty. This law doesn’t mean that they have to look like their going to the opera when they’re going to work in the mud. This also goes for clothing with colorful language on it. Use your judgment and you’ll be fine.
2. We should not imitate the styles and clothing of the non Jew *** ideally, we should stick to our own styles of clothing and not spend our time, energy or money on what the latest trends are.
3. We should not to wear extravagant or flashy clothing. **** We should dress nice, but we should also be modest in both dress and behavior. This is one of the reasons why so many observant Jews gravitate to black and white clothing. I don’t think that a little color in one’s wardrobe is a violation of Jewish law, but if your clothes are so flashy that when you walk into a room, everyone turns to stare, you may want to choose something else to wear. This doesn’t mean that one should go out looking ugly, but it does mean that we should make efforts to be the most looked at person in the room.
4. We should wear clothing the covers our body *****. There are a lot of opinions out there regarding to what extent this goes. I’m not going to deal with the specifics, but the idea is the same as modesty. If your clothing is such that it draws attention to features of your body that we ideally shouldn’t want, it may not be the best idea.
5. A man should wear clothes designed for men and a woman should wear clothes designed for women. The most common area of controversy in this area is whether a woman can wear pants or not. From what I read, it seems like if a woman wore pants that were designed for women, she would not be violating any Jewish law. However, it’s become the custom of Jewish women not to do so publicly. It’s less common for men to wear women’s clothing, but the same rules apply.
6. Especially when we pray, we should dress as if we were standing before a king. Keeping all this in mind, all Jews should try to dress appropriate to the best of their ability, but they should keep in mind wear they are spiritually and not push themselves into overload. For man, it would be great if I would wear a suit and tie every time I prayed, but if I happened to be at the beach when the time for prayer arrived, it would be much better to pray in a bathing suit then to not pray at the appointment time. Also, if you’re one of those people who hate wearing a tie, don’t push yourself too hard. Some people take this a step further and rightfully say that since G-d is with them all the time, they should always dress formally. This is very admirable, but not required by Jewish law. It’s slightly off topic, but its falls under the general category of dressing up. There’s an interesting phenomenon in our society, where a man or woman will get dressed up to go face the world, but when they come home to their spouses, they strip off the make up and change into clothes that are more comfortable and less faltering. While we should be comfortable in our own homes, we should also keep in mind that they most important person to look attractive to is one’s spouse.
7. Black hats, long coats and gartels (strings that Chassidic men wrap around their waste.) These are clearly in the realm of customs and stringencies. If your Rabbi or spiritual mentor wears things like this and you want to imitate him, great. If not, it’s no big deal. They are not necessary to be an observant Jew, but can be a stepping stone for someone who has already reached a stable level in his observance and wants to push themselves higher.
All of this being said, I believe the most important thing is this letter isn’t if we dress properly, but how we relate to people around us who we don’t believe are dressed properly. Dressing properly is extremely important, but always keep in mind that when we learn a new law or custom, we should focus on how we can improve ourselves, not how we can improve our neighbor. The best thing you can do to inspire your friend and neighbor is become and inspiration by leading by example.
* This is a fictional letter that discusses a real problem that BTs go through. There is a lot of confusion out there regarding what is or isn’t acceptable dress and not a lot of practical advice on it. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com.
** Kitzur Shulchen Aruch, Chapter 3
*** ibid.
**** ibid
***** Shulchen Aruch HaRav, Chapter 2
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Torah Thought: Parsha Shemos
The Rabbis ask an obvious question about this weeks Torah portion:
If the Jewish people were slaves, how could Moses and Aaron walk around freely?
To answer the question, we need to go back to the Torah portion of Mikeitz, which we read a couple weeks ago. The Rabbis tell us that during the years of famine in Egypt, Joseph, on behalf of Pharaoh, sold provisions to the entire world. When people ran out of money, Joseph took their livestock and land in exchange for food. Once the people no longer owned land, they became Pharaoh’s indentured servants which in those days wasn’t that much more than a slave. Joseph decreed this for everyone in Egypt except the priests. Joseph foresaw that the tribe of Levi needed to be free to lead the Jewish people out of Egypt so when he set up this decree several generations before, he ensured that Moses and Aaron, since they were from the tribe of Levi, would be able to travel and not subject to Egypt’s enslavement.
I’ve known this answer for several years, but it never sat well with me. Pharaoh was so morally depraved and wicked that he had babies killed on a regular basis. Am I really to believe that Pharaoh didn’t enslave the tribe of Levi, because he wanted to follow the law from several generations before? Does that really make sense? He was one of the worst people to ever walk the earth, why would he care about what the law is?
Several months ago, I was listing to a lecture from Rabbi Berel Wein and I heard something that clarified the point for me. We all know about the horrors of the holocaust. We’d be hard pressed to come up with a group of people that could better be described at the epitome of evil then the Nazis. There were stories about how when the Nazis first brought Jews to the death camps, they would ask any among the Jews who were veterans of the German army to people step forward. These Jews mistakenly thought that since they had fought on the side of Germany during World War 1, they would be spared. The Nazis “rewarded” these veterans by killing them first. Rabbi Wein tells the story of other Jewish veterans of the German army from World War 1 who came to America. Thank G-d that they had left Germany early enough to escape the terrors of the holocaust. As the story goes, since they were veterans, since the German government love rules, these Jews still received their military pension checks from the Germans.
The laws and justifications of wicked governments often don’t make sense and the world is certainly a strange place, but if Jewish veterans could still receive their pension checks during the Holocaust, it’s no stranger to believe that Pharaoh allowed the tribe of Levi to maintain their freedom during the Jews enslavement in Egypt.
The Rabbis tell us that we shouldn’t apply human characteristics to G-d. That being said, it sure does seem like the L-rd has an interesting sense of humor.
If the Jewish people were slaves, how could Moses and Aaron walk around freely?
To answer the question, we need to go back to the Torah portion of Mikeitz, which we read a couple weeks ago. The Rabbis tell us that during the years of famine in Egypt, Joseph, on behalf of Pharaoh, sold provisions to the entire world. When people ran out of money, Joseph took their livestock and land in exchange for food. Once the people no longer owned land, they became Pharaoh’s indentured servants which in those days wasn’t that much more than a slave. Joseph decreed this for everyone in Egypt except the priests. Joseph foresaw that the tribe of Levi needed to be free to lead the Jewish people out of Egypt so when he set up this decree several generations before, he ensured that Moses and Aaron, since they were from the tribe of Levi, would be able to travel and not subject to Egypt’s enslavement.
I’ve known this answer for several years, but it never sat well with me. Pharaoh was so morally depraved and wicked that he had babies killed on a regular basis. Am I really to believe that Pharaoh didn’t enslave the tribe of Levi, because he wanted to follow the law from several generations before? Does that really make sense? He was one of the worst people to ever walk the earth, why would he care about what the law is?
Several months ago, I was listing to a lecture from Rabbi Berel Wein and I heard something that clarified the point for me. We all know about the horrors of the holocaust. We’d be hard pressed to come up with a group of people that could better be described at the epitome of evil then the Nazis. There were stories about how when the Nazis first brought Jews to the death camps, they would ask any among the Jews who were veterans of the German army to people step forward. These Jews mistakenly thought that since they had fought on the side of Germany during World War 1, they would be spared. The Nazis “rewarded” these veterans by killing them first. Rabbi Wein tells the story of other Jewish veterans of the German army from World War 1 who came to America. Thank G-d that they had left Germany early enough to escape the terrors of the holocaust. As the story goes, since they were veterans, since the German government love rules, these Jews still received their military pension checks from the Germans.
The laws and justifications of wicked governments often don’t make sense and the world is certainly a strange place, but if Jewish veterans could still receive their pension checks during the Holocaust, it’s no stranger to believe that Pharaoh allowed the tribe of Levi to maintain their freedom during the Jews enslavement in Egypt.
The Rabbis tell us that we shouldn’t apply human characteristics to G-d. That being said, it sure does seem like the L-rd has an interesting sense of humor.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Torah Thought: Parsha Vayechi
Almost 10 years ago I was at a dinner for JNF and the speaker said something that I still remember as vividly as the day I heard it.
He told us all to close our eyes and picture a large coliseum filled with every Jew. Not just every Jew alive today, but every Jew that has ever lived. In the center was a relay race and it started out with our father Abraham, and he ran with tremendous speed, and then passed the baton to Isaac who also ran extremely fast and then passed the baton to Jacob and on and on through the generations the baton was passed. Through Moses. Through King David. Through Rashi, Rambam, Joseph Cairo, The Chofetz Chaim, on and on and now it was just passed to us… and what are we going to do with it? Is our generation ready to build on the successes of the past or are we going to fall backwards?
The Torah portion tells us of a monumental shift in Jewish history. Jacob, the last of our forefathers dies. The generation of the brothers are now the seniors. In next week’s parsha, they die too. After that we plunge into a period of slavery that almost decimated the Jewish people. What happened with the generation after the brothers that they didn’t merit us to exist as a free people? There were great people in that generation. Joseph’s two sons Menashe & Ephraim were so great that they were spiritually elevated to the status of their father’s generation. Serah, the daughter of Asher, was so great that she lived from the time we entered Egypt until the time we left. Dan’s son Hushim was such a fierce warrior that the Middrash tells us that he killed Esau. Given such people, what happened that they couldn’t protect the rest of the people? Did they fail as leaders?
If one views the Egyptian exile as an avoidable situation if we made the right choices, then perhaps they could have prevented. However, from everything that I’ve read, the Egyptian exile was a necessary process in the formation of the Jewish people. It was part of G-d’s divine plan and therefore had to happen. Given that, it would have been impossible for them to avoid the enslavement no matter how great they were. The only thing they could have done was to plant the proper seeds that when the time is right the leaders of a future generation can take us out of exile and to the divine presence at Mount Sinai. From Jacob’s grandchildren came the seeds for people like Moses, Aaron, Miriam, Nachshom, Caleb & Joshua. These were such a group that they brought us from the most horrific exile to receiving the Torah in such a short period of time.
Someone might mistakenly think that they were born to non-religious parents in a non-religious environment and there’s too much stacked against them to accomplish good in this world. We can see from this that even if this is correct, our parents and grandparents still planted the seeds of Jewish identity within us and they’re now ready to flourish. It’s our generation’s time to pick up the baton of Judaism and run at a pace to make our forefathers proud. Just like the generation that left Egypt, we have the ability to take our generation from the depths of spiritual apathy to the heights of redemption.
He told us all to close our eyes and picture a large coliseum filled with every Jew. Not just every Jew alive today, but every Jew that has ever lived. In the center was a relay race and it started out with our father Abraham, and he ran with tremendous speed, and then passed the baton to Isaac who also ran extremely fast and then passed the baton to Jacob and on and on through the generations the baton was passed. Through Moses. Through King David. Through Rashi, Rambam, Joseph Cairo, The Chofetz Chaim, on and on and now it was just passed to us… and what are we going to do with it? Is our generation ready to build on the successes of the past or are we going to fall backwards?
The Torah portion tells us of a monumental shift in Jewish history. Jacob, the last of our forefathers dies. The generation of the brothers are now the seniors. In next week’s parsha, they die too. After that we plunge into a period of slavery that almost decimated the Jewish people. What happened with the generation after the brothers that they didn’t merit us to exist as a free people? There were great people in that generation. Joseph’s two sons Menashe & Ephraim were so great that they were spiritually elevated to the status of their father’s generation. Serah, the daughter of Asher, was so great that she lived from the time we entered Egypt until the time we left. Dan’s son Hushim was such a fierce warrior that the Middrash tells us that he killed Esau. Given such people, what happened that they couldn’t protect the rest of the people? Did they fail as leaders?
If one views the Egyptian exile as an avoidable situation if we made the right choices, then perhaps they could have prevented. However, from everything that I’ve read, the Egyptian exile was a necessary process in the formation of the Jewish people. It was part of G-d’s divine plan and therefore had to happen. Given that, it would have been impossible for them to avoid the enslavement no matter how great they were. The only thing they could have done was to plant the proper seeds that when the time is right the leaders of a future generation can take us out of exile and to the divine presence at Mount Sinai. From Jacob’s grandchildren came the seeds for people like Moses, Aaron, Miriam, Nachshom, Caleb & Joshua. These were such a group that they brought us from the most horrific exile to receiving the Torah in such a short period of time.
Someone might mistakenly think that they were born to non-religious parents in a non-religious environment and there’s too much stacked against them to accomplish good in this world. We can see from this that even if this is correct, our parents and grandparents still planted the seeds of Jewish identity within us and they’re now ready to flourish. It’s our generation’s time to pick up the baton of Judaism and run at a pace to make our forefathers proud. Just like the generation that left Egypt, we have the ability to take our generation from the depths of spiritual apathy to the heights of redemption.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Dear Beth, I'm losing my son to Judaism. Please help me.
Dear Beth,
I’m writing you because I don’t know where else to turn.
It was about a year and a half ago that my 28 year old son told me that he met an orthodox Rabbi and started to learn Torah with him. At the time, I was happy about it. My son wasn’t married and constantly dated different girls. I thought that this would help him settle down and start a family.
We never kept kosher or anything like that, but I always taught him to believe in G-d, but we only went to synagogue a few times a year. He was a good boy. He always did well in school and I was proud of him.
About 6 months ago, things started to change. He told me that he wouldn’t come over for a family birthday party, because it was on Saturday. He didn’t come to our Passover dinner and he even told me that he wouldn’t eat at my house and more, because us wasn’t kosher. I couldn’t believe it. All of sudden, the food that I made for him his whole life wasn’t good enough. He would lecture us on how we should change… we should change while he was tearing the family apart.
No we don’t see each other so much and it’s all because of this Cult that he joined and this Rabbi that he’s talking to. When we talk on the phone, it’s usually tense. I tried to tell him what he’s doing to the family, but it didn’t help at all. I just don’t know what to do.
Please help me. I’m afraid that I’m losing my son.
Sincerely,
Desperate Mother
Dear Desperate Mother,
There are so many laws that Rabbis teach young (or not so young) men and women when they return to Judaism. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough taught about how to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with ones family.
The first thing that we need to deal with is that your son isn’t reading any new fringe book that separates himself from the tradition of his family. He’s rediscovering something that his family did for generation after generation, but somehow became lost over the past 80 years or so.
I grew up in a house that was almost completely secular. After I was 13 years old, I don’t ever remember my parents going to synagogue. Besides for my Grandfather lighting the Chanukah menorah and a few other things, we had no Jewish customs. If I had to define our Jewish demonization (Orthodox, Conservative, etc.) I would have said that we were “Bagel and Lox” Jews. To the best of my knowledge, I thought that like me, my parents had no knowledge of traditional Judaism. I distinctly remember having my parents over for Shabbas dinner after I had became religious. When I started singing Shalom Aleichem (traditional Friday night song), I was shocked that they new the words. I had never heard them sing this growing up. When I asked how they knew the song, they told me that they remembered singing it when they grew up. Later I found out that my father still had his Bar Mitzvah tefillan (black boxes with straps that men start wearing after their Bar Mitzvah). I had never even seen a pair of tefillan, let alone owned one. There were many other memories that my parents had of Jewish laws and customs that were missing from my childhood. It even came out that my mother’s grandparents had been Orthodox. Even though my relationship with Judaism was different then my parents, it wasn’t that much different from their grandparents. Chances are that it’s probably the same with your family too. If not your grandparents, then maybe a generation or two before that was much more observant of Jewish laws than the average Jew in America.
If your son was a doctor and was on call every Saturday, how would you feel? Would you be mad at him for not coming to family parties? Chances are, you’d be proud of him and schedule get-togethers on Sunday. If developed an allergy to nuts later on in life, would you insist on feeding him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because that’s what you fed him when he was kid? Of course not, you’d make the necessary accommodations to feed him what he could eat, because you love him. It’s not that much different now. Your son has developed a spiritual sensitivity that prohibits him from traveling on the Shabbat and Jewish holidays and prevents him from eating non-kosher food. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to see you on Sundays and go out to eat with you to a kosher restaurant. Maybe you can even get him to cook for you at his house.
Your son loves you. Because it’s so important, I’m going to repeat it. YOUR SON LOVES YOU! It sounds like you’re both having difficulty finding the coexistence of both of your beliefs. The first step is acceptance. You need to accept your son for who he is and not try to change him. He needs to accept that you are and will always be his mother and you love him more than he’ll ever know. You also need to both find a way to spend time with each other and enjoy each others company at a time and place that you can both accept. He may not be able to come over on Shabbat, but there are 6 other days of the week that he can come over. You may also want to consider spending Shabbat with him to experience this part of his life. It may not change your view, but at least you may come closer to understand his.
The Rabbis teach us that one of the core principles of Torah is to love your fellow Jew. If this is true for a stranger, how much more true is it for a parent and child.
* This is a fictional letter that discusses a real problem that BTs and their families go through. There are so many articles and resources for those of us that have became religious, but very little for our loving and concerned families. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com.
I’m writing you because I don’t know where else to turn.
It was about a year and a half ago that my 28 year old son told me that he met an orthodox Rabbi and started to learn Torah with him. At the time, I was happy about it. My son wasn’t married and constantly dated different girls. I thought that this would help him settle down and start a family.
We never kept kosher or anything like that, but I always taught him to believe in G-d, but we only went to synagogue a few times a year. He was a good boy. He always did well in school and I was proud of him.
About 6 months ago, things started to change. He told me that he wouldn’t come over for a family birthday party, because it was on Saturday. He didn’t come to our Passover dinner and he even told me that he wouldn’t eat at my house and more, because us wasn’t kosher. I couldn’t believe it. All of sudden, the food that I made for him his whole life wasn’t good enough. He would lecture us on how we should change… we should change while he was tearing the family apart.
No we don’t see each other so much and it’s all because of this Cult that he joined and this Rabbi that he’s talking to. When we talk on the phone, it’s usually tense. I tried to tell him what he’s doing to the family, but it didn’t help at all. I just don’t know what to do.
Please help me. I’m afraid that I’m losing my son.
Sincerely,
Desperate Mother
Dear Desperate Mother,
There are so many laws that Rabbis teach young (or not so young) men and women when they return to Judaism. Unfortunately, there isn’t enough taught about how to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with ones family.
The first thing that we need to deal with is that your son isn’t reading any new fringe book that separates himself from the tradition of his family. He’s rediscovering something that his family did for generation after generation, but somehow became lost over the past 80 years or so.
I grew up in a house that was almost completely secular. After I was 13 years old, I don’t ever remember my parents going to synagogue. Besides for my Grandfather lighting the Chanukah menorah and a few other things, we had no Jewish customs. If I had to define our Jewish demonization (Orthodox, Conservative, etc.) I would have said that we were “Bagel and Lox” Jews. To the best of my knowledge, I thought that like me, my parents had no knowledge of traditional Judaism. I distinctly remember having my parents over for Shabbas dinner after I had became religious. When I started singing Shalom Aleichem (traditional Friday night song), I was shocked that they new the words. I had never heard them sing this growing up. When I asked how they knew the song, they told me that they remembered singing it when they grew up. Later I found out that my father still had his Bar Mitzvah tefillan (black boxes with straps that men start wearing after their Bar Mitzvah). I had never even seen a pair of tefillan, let alone owned one. There were many other memories that my parents had of Jewish laws and customs that were missing from my childhood. It even came out that my mother’s grandparents had been Orthodox. Even though my relationship with Judaism was different then my parents, it wasn’t that much different from their grandparents. Chances are that it’s probably the same with your family too. If not your grandparents, then maybe a generation or two before that was much more observant of Jewish laws than the average Jew in America.
If your son was a doctor and was on call every Saturday, how would you feel? Would you be mad at him for not coming to family parties? Chances are, you’d be proud of him and schedule get-togethers on Sunday. If developed an allergy to nuts later on in life, would you insist on feeding him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, because that’s what you fed him when he was kid? Of course not, you’d make the necessary accommodations to feed him what he could eat, because you love him. It’s not that much different now. Your son has developed a spiritual sensitivity that prohibits him from traveling on the Shabbat and Jewish holidays and prevents him from eating non-kosher food. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to see you on Sundays and go out to eat with you to a kosher restaurant. Maybe you can even get him to cook for you at his house.
Your son loves you. Because it’s so important, I’m going to repeat it. YOUR SON LOVES YOU! It sounds like you’re both having difficulty finding the coexistence of both of your beliefs. The first step is acceptance. You need to accept your son for who he is and not try to change him. He needs to accept that you are and will always be his mother and you love him more than he’ll ever know. You also need to both find a way to spend time with each other and enjoy each others company at a time and place that you can both accept. He may not be able to come over on Shabbat, but there are 6 other days of the week that he can come over. You may also want to consider spending Shabbat with him to experience this part of his life. It may not change your view, but at least you may come closer to understand his.
The Rabbis teach us that one of the core principles of Torah is to love your fellow Jew. If this is true for a stranger, how much more true is it for a parent and child.
* This is a fictional letter that discusses a real problem that BTs and their families go through. There are so many articles and resources for those of us that have became religious, but very little for our loving and concerned families. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Torah Thought: Parsha Vayigash
We just entered the Hebrew month of Tevet. On the 29th of Tevet in the year 1995, my grandmother of blessed memory passed away. Every year, around this time, I typically end up having a conversation with my father, who’s not religious, about saying mourners kaddish for her. He’ll typically do it, but most years he’ll say it at home by himself. Once every couple years, I can get him go to shul.
Several years ago, he asked me a question that I wasn’t prepared for: Why do we say kaddish for a deceased love one? I explained to him that we say kaddish as merit for the deceased. While we’re doing a mitzvah in their honor, they’re soul somehow gets elevated in the spiritual world. I was fairly impressed with my answer, when his follow up question left me without an answer: If the deceased gets elevated by doing a mitzvah, why can’t we do any mitzvah instead? Also, the text of kaddish has nothing to do with a deceased love one… or a deceased hated one for that matter. One might imagine that when say a prayer for the departed, it would contain things like “Please judge them mercifully or please let us learn from all of their positive attributes.” It’s really the opposite. The kaddish prayer is actually fairly upbeat and positive, focusing on praising G-d. If someone read the kaddish prayer for the first time, they’d probably have no idea that it has anything to do with mourning.
I think the answer can be found hidden in this week’s parsha. After the 22 year separation, Jacob and Joseph are finally reunited. The verse tells us that “Joseph… went up to meet his father… fell on his neck and wept on his neck excessively.” The Torah commentator Rashi explains to us why Jacob didn’t fall on Joseph’s neck or kiss him. He tells us that Jacob was saying the prayer, Shema (Hear O Israel, the L-rd, our G-d, the L-rd is one), at the time. Why was Jacob saying Shema then of all times? The Rabbis tell us that he was so overjoyed from seeing Joseph and he wanted to direct this love towards G-d.
To understand more about what’s happening, we should take a brief overview of the first verse of Shema. The first part is pretty straight forward: “Hear O Israel” is presumably talking about us since we’re all the nation of Israel. The next verse is a little tougher: “the L-rd, our G-d, the L-rd is one.” If we were only saying that there’s one G-d, it would seem like we wouldn’t need such a repetitive sentence. The key can be found in the names for G-d found in the verse. In Hebrew it’s Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Ehad.
The Rabbis tell us that G-d reveals himself through many different names as a way to for us to perceive how he’s acting towards us at any given moment since we can’t understand his infinity. They also tell us that the name “Hashem” conveys his attribute of kindness and the name “Elokeinu” conveys his attribute of judgment.
When we say the Shema, we’re acknowledging that G-d’s kindness and judgment are truly the same. When we see G-d doing something that we perceive to be bad, like taking a loved one away from us, we owe G-d the same praise as when he does something good like bring a new baby into our lives. This is why Jacob chose this moment to say Shema. He wanted to acknowledge that both the absence of Joseph for 22 years and his emotional reunion with him both emanated from the same G-d who is truly one. It’s this same reason why we specifically say kaddish for the departed. It’s also us acknowledging, even in our time of sorrow, that that G-d’s name be blessed forever and ever.
Several years ago, he asked me a question that I wasn’t prepared for: Why do we say kaddish for a deceased love one? I explained to him that we say kaddish as merit for the deceased. While we’re doing a mitzvah in their honor, they’re soul somehow gets elevated in the spiritual world. I was fairly impressed with my answer, when his follow up question left me without an answer: If the deceased gets elevated by doing a mitzvah, why can’t we do any mitzvah instead? Also, the text of kaddish has nothing to do with a deceased love one… or a deceased hated one for that matter. One might imagine that when say a prayer for the departed, it would contain things like “Please judge them mercifully or please let us learn from all of their positive attributes.” It’s really the opposite. The kaddish prayer is actually fairly upbeat and positive, focusing on praising G-d. If someone read the kaddish prayer for the first time, they’d probably have no idea that it has anything to do with mourning.
I think the answer can be found hidden in this week’s parsha. After the 22 year separation, Jacob and Joseph are finally reunited. The verse tells us that “Joseph… went up to meet his father… fell on his neck and wept on his neck excessively.” The Torah commentator Rashi explains to us why Jacob didn’t fall on Joseph’s neck or kiss him. He tells us that Jacob was saying the prayer, Shema (Hear O Israel, the L-rd, our G-d, the L-rd is one), at the time. Why was Jacob saying Shema then of all times? The Rabbis tell us that he was so overjoyed from seeing Joseph and he wanted to direct this love towards G-d.
To understand more about what’s happening, we should take a brief overview of the first verse of Shema. The first part is pretty straight forward: “Hear O Israel” is presumably talking about us since we’re all the nation of Israel. The next verse is a little tougher: “the L-rd, our G-d, the L-rd is one.” If we were only saying that there’s one G-d, it would seem like we wouldn’t need such a repetitive sentence. The key can be found in the names for G-d found in the verse. In Hebrew it’s Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Ehad.
The Rabbis tell us that G-d reveals himself through many different names as a way to for us to perceive how he’s acting towards us at any given moment since we can’t understand his infinity. They also tell us that the name “Hashem” conveys his attribute of kindness and the name “Elokeinu” conveys his attribute of judgment.
When we say the Shema, we’re acknowledging that G-d’s kindness and judgment are truly the same. When we see G-d doing something that we perceive to be bad, like taking a loved one away from us, we owe G-d the same praise as when he does something good like bring a new baby into our lives. This is why Jacob chose this moment to say Shema. He wanted to acknowledge that both the absence of Joseph for 22 years and his emotional reunion with him both emanated from the same G-d who is truly one. It’s this same reason why we specifically say kaddish for the departed. It’s also us acknowledging, even in our time of sorrow, that that G-d’s name be blessed forever and ever.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Dear Beth, How did Jewish law develop from the Torah to what it is today?
Dear Beth,
There are so many laws in Judaism… some of which I can’t find anywhere in the Torah. Besides that, whenever I open a Jewish book, the Rabbis always seem to be arguing about the most trivial things. Where did all this come from? Did the Rabbis just make all this stuff up?
Sincerely,
Confused and bewildered
* If you haven’t figured it out by know, this is a fictional letter, but it’s a question that most of us B.T.s go through. Since the last Dear BETH segment was so popular, I decided to do another one. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com (I tried to come up with a more masculine name with the letters B.T.H. – Ba’al Teshuvas Handbook, but I couldn’t think of one.
Dear Confused and bewildered,
Recently I was reminded of a story that a local outreach Rabbi told me. He was giving a class at someone’s home. The participants all started reconnecting to Judaism several years before. I don’t remember the topic that he was discussing, but he made reference to a certain Mishnah. When one of the participants asked “What’s the Mishnah?” it stopped him in his tracks. He never thought to consider that the people in the class didn’t know what the Mishnah was and how Jewish law developed from it’s origins in the Torah to what it is today.
Since we have so many laws to deal with and they span every minute detail of life, some may be under the misconception that Jewish law is a cold and rigid area of Judaism. The fact is that nothing could be further from the truth. Jewish law, more importantly the process for studying and developing Jewish law, is a living, breathing entity all to itself. That doesn’t mean that we can change the fundamental principles to adapt to our current lifestyle whenever the need suits us. It does mean, however, that the formula for dealing with today’s and tomorrows unique questions has already been created.
Unfortunately, the development of Jewish law and an explanation of how we got to where we are is often overlooked in the early years of one’s return to Judaism. With that in mind, I’d like to explore an overview of the development of Jewish law so we can see the major changes that got us to where we are today.
Torah aka the Old Testament aka the five books of Moses, aka Chumash – The Torah was dictated by G-d and written by Moses 2448 years after creation or 1313 BCE. The 10 commandments were first stated on the 7th day of the Hebrew month of Sivan. There is a debate among the Rabbis as to who wrote the last several lines of the Torah which describes Moses’s death. Some say that Moses’s student, Joshua, wrote it after Moses’s death. Others say that Moses wrote it himself, in advance. It would seem that when Moses was on Mount Sinai, he was told everything that happened from creating until that point and wrote the rest down over the 40 year period in the desert until is demise. Before Moses’s death, he passed on the responsibility for teaching the Torah to the people to Joshua. Joshua passed the responsibility to the Elders. The Elders passed the responsibility to the Profits which eventually passed the responsibility to Men of the Great Assembly. What I just summed up in a few sentences took about 1,000 years. During that time, the Torah was mainly transmitted verbally. However, we do have 19 books from some of the Prophets. These 19 combined with the 5 books of Moses make up what we call Tanach.
Mishnah – The Mishnah, which can be a combination of the Hebrew letter Mem (numerical value for 40) and the word Shana (which means years) The Mishneh is the beginning of the oral law. In the second century of the common era, Rabbi Judah the Prince aka Rabbeinu HaKodesh, aka Rebbe convened a gathering of all of the Rabbis of the time. For the previous several hundred years, the Jewish people were under severe oppression by both the Greek and Roman empires. The Rabbis were persecuted mercilessly. Since they were always in hiding and could rarely get together to discuss problems, different opinions arose on how to deal with contemporary issues. Around this time the political environment in Rome changed and restrictions were relaxed against the Jews. Rabbi Judah the Prince saw this as a once in a life time opportunity for all of the Rabbis to get together and discuss what differences what they had learned from their teachers and sort our any differences. Breaking the tradition of not writing down the oral law for mass publications, Rabbi Judah the Prince took notes and organized them on a variety of topics that spanned every facet of Jewish life. This organized series of discussions is known as the Mishneh. He believed that this work ensured that the oral law would never be forgotten. He also believed that his work provide enough information for later Rabbis to figure out what any law was according to Judaism.
Talmud aka Gemara aka Babylonian Talmud aka Bavli – Compiled by the Rabbis at approximately 500 of the common era. Unfortunately, Rabbi Judah the Prince did not anticipate how quickly the knowledge level of the generations would decline. After a few hundred years, it became evident to the Rabbis at the time that they need more then just the Mishnah to be able to preserve Jewish law. At roughly the same time, in the landscape of history, two Talmuds were started independent of each other… one in Jerusalem and one in Babylonia (modern day Iraq). Since the primary Torah scholars were in Babylonia and it was finished later, the Babylonian Talmud took on the primary position for Jewish scholarship. Considering the oppressions of the Jewish people, some confusion arose as to what the law was in different areas of life. The Talmud records the conversations/arguments of the Rabbis as the debate out the law in search of ultimate truth.
Mishneh Torah – Written by Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon aka Maimonides aka Rambam in the 10th century. The Talmud, while still the premiere books for scholars, is somewhat chaotic in its order. If someone wanted to know what the law was about any given thing and didn’t know exactly where it was mentioned in the Talmud, it would be virtually impossible for him to find it. There are rare people who know the entire Talmud by heart, but they’re few and far between. The non-scholar was lost in the tremendous depth and volume of the Talmud when it came to Jewish law. With this in mind, Rambam compiled an orderly series of books codifying all the laws contained in the Talmud. For the first time, someone actually had a book that told them what the Jewish law was most areas of life.
Shulchen Aruch – Written in the early 1500s, the Shulchen Aruch was written by Rabbi Joseph Karo compiling the opinions of the Rambam and other Rabbis. The 4 volumes of the Shulchen Aruch set the stage for what modern Jewish law has become.
Mishneh Berura – Written by Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan aka the Chofetz Chaim in the late 1800s. the Mishneh Berura took all of the commentaries on the Shulchen Aruch and compiled it to one updated series of books. The Mishneh Berura is the most widely accepted work in determining current Jewish law.
Aside from these major works, there have been a plethora of other adaptations and developments throughout are history. The one running theme throughout all of the major works is that they all came to simplify and explain the Jewish law.
Judaism has an unbroken tradition of Jewish law for over 3,000 years with each major work, not changing, but building off of the previous work to bring us to where we are now.
There are so many laws in Judaism… some of which I can’t find anywhere in the Torah. Besides that, whenever I open a Jewish book, the Rabbis always seem to be arguing about the most trivial things. Where did all this come from? Did the Rabbis just make all this stuff up?
Sincerely,
Confused and bewildered
* If you haven’t figured it out by know, this is a fictional letter, but it’s a question that most of us B.T.s go through. Since the last Dear BETH segment was so popular, I decided to do another one. If you have real questions, feel free to email me at AriMiller613@gmail.com (I tried to come up with a more masculine name with the letters B.T.H. – Ba’al Teshuvas Handbook, but I couldn’t think of one.
Dear Confused and bewildered,
Recently I was reminded of a story that a local outreach Rabbi told me. He was giving a class at someone’s home. The participants all started reconnecting to Judaism several years before. I don’t remember the topic that he was discussing, but he made reference to a certain Mishnah. When one of the participants asked “What’s the Mishnah?” it stopped him in his tracks. He never thought to consider that the people in the class didn’t know what the Mishnah was and how Jewish law developed from it’s origins in the Torah to what it is today.
Since we have so many laws to deal with and they span every minute detail of life, some may be under the misconception that Jewish law is a cold and rigid area of Judaism. The fact is that nothing could be further from the truth. Jewish law, more importantly the process for studying and developing Jewish law, is a living, breathing entity all to itself. That doesn’t mean that we can change the fundamental principles to adapt to our current lifestyle whenever the need suits us. It does mean, however, that the formula for dealing with today’s and tomorrows unique questions has already been created.
Unfortunately, the development of Jewish law and an explanation of how we got to where we are is often overlooked in the early years of one’s return to Judaism. With that in mind, I’d like to explore an overview of the development of Jewish law so we can see the major changes that got us to where we are today.
Torah aka the Old Testament aka the five books of Moses, aka Chumash – The Torah was dictated by G-d and written by Moses 2448 years after creation or 1313 BCE. The 10 commandments were first stated on the 7th day of the Hebrew month of Sivan. There is a debate among the Rabbis as to who wrote the last several lines of the Torah which describes Moses’s death. Some say that Moses’s student, Joshua, wrote it after Moses’s death. Others say that Moses wrote it himself, in advance. It would seem that when Moses was on Mount Sinai, he was told everything that happened from creating until that point and wrote the rest down over the 40 year period in the desert until is demise. Before Moses’s death, he passed on the responsibility for teaching the Torah to the people to Joshua. Joshua passed the responsibility to the Elders. The Elders passed the responsibility to the Profits which eventually passed the responsibility to Men of the Great Assembly. What I just summed up in a few sentences took about 1,000 years. During that time, the Torah was mainly transmitted verbally. However, we do have 19 books from some of the Prophets. These 19 combined with the 5 books of Moses make up what we call Tanach.
Mishnah – The Mishnah, which can be a combination of the Hebrew letter Mem (numerical value for 40) and the word Shana (which means years) The Mishneh is the beginning of the oral law. In the second century of the common era, Rabbi Judah the Prince aka Rabbeinu HaKodesh, aka Rebbe convened a gathering of all of the Rabbis of the time. For the previous several hundred years, the Jewish people were under severe oppression by both the Greek and Roman empires. The Rabbis were persecuted mercilessly. Since they were always in hiding and could rarely get together to discuss problems, different opinions arose on how to deal with contemporary issues. Around this time the political environment in Rome changed and restrictions were relaxed against the Jews. Rabbi Judah the Prince saw this as a once in a life time opportunity for all of the Rabbis to get together and discuss what differences what they had learned from their teachers and sort our any differences. Breaking the tradition of not writing down the oral law for mass publications, Rabbi Judah the Prince took notes and organized them on a variety of topics that spanned every facet of Jewish life. This organized series of discussions is known as the Mishneh. He believed that this work ensured that the oral law would never be forgotten. He also believed that his work provide enough information for later Rabbis to figure out what any law was according to Judaism.
Talmud aka Gemara aka Babylonian Talmud aka Bavli – Compiled by the Rabbis at approximately 500 of the common era. Unfortunately, Rabbi Judah the Prince did not anticipate how quickly the knowledge level of the generations would decline. After a few hundred years, it became evident to the Rabbis at the time that they need more then just the Mishnah to be able to preserve Jewish law. At roughly the same time, in the landscape of history, two Talmuds were started independent of each other… one in Jerusalem and one in Babylonia (modern day Iraq). Since the primary Torah scholars were in Babylonia and it was finished later, the Babylonian Talmud took on the primary position for Jewish scholarship. Considering the oppressions of the Jewish people, some confusion arose as to what the law was in different areas of life. The Talmud records the conversations/arguments of the Rabbis as the debate out the law in search of ultimate truth.
Mishneh Torah – Written by Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon aka Maimonides aka Rambam in the 10th century. The Talmud, while still the premiere books for scholars, is somewhat chaotic in its order. If someone wanted to know what the law was about any given thing and didn’t know exactly where it was mentioned in the Talmud, it would be virtually impossible for him to find it. There are rare people who know the entire Talmud by heart, but they’re few and far between. The non-scholar was lost in the tremendous depth and volume of the Talmud when it came to Jewish law. With this in mind, Rambam compiled an orderly series of books codifying all the laws contained in the Talmud. For the first time, someone actually had a book that told them what the Jewish law was most areas of life.
Shulchen Aruch – Written in the early 1500s, the Shulchen Aruch was written by Rabbi Joseph Karo compiling the opinions of the Rambam and other Rabbis. The 4 volumes of the Shulchen Aruch set the stage for what modern Jewish law has become.
Mishneh Berura – Written by Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan aka the Chofetz Chaim in the late 1800s. the Mishneh Berura took all of the commentaries on the Shulchen Aruch and compiled it to one updated series of books. The Mishneh Berura is the most widely accepted work in determining current Jewish law.
Aside from these major works, there have been a plethora of other adaptations and developments throughout are history. The one running theme throughout all of the major works is that they all came to simplify and explain the Jewish law.
Judaism has an unbroken tradition of Jewish law for over 3,000 years with each major work, not changing, but building off of the previous work to bring us to where we are now.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Torah Thought: Parsha Mikeitz
In last weeks, parsha, Vayeishev, the Torah says that Joseph was handsome of form and handsome of appearance. The great commentator, Rashi, says that this means Joseph started to see himself in a position of authority and started to eat, drink and curl his hair. Rashi says that the holy One Blessed is He said “Your father is mourning and you curl your hair?” and this led to the troubles with Portifer’s wife.
For some reason, my 5 year old son though there was something hysterical about Joseph curling his hair and for the past week has been running around, making a silly voice, and saying “Look at me. I’m curling my hair.” My laughter probably encourages him.
On a serious note, it seems like Joseph’s attention to his appearance was not looked favorably in heaven. In this week’s parsha, when Joseph was summoned by Pharaoh, Rashi says that he shaved his hair out of respect for royalty. After meeting Pharaoh, Joseph quickly becomes appointed Viceroy (second in command) of Egypt.
As soon as I read about the shaving, I thought to myself… could there be a correlation between Joseph’s troubles & good luck and what Joseph did with his hair?
It may sound a little strange at first, but let’s refresh ourselves on the Torah’s description of a Nazir. A Nazir is a legal status in Judaism where someone stops drinking wine, or any other grape product, avoids ritual impurity and does not cut their hair for a set amount of days. On one hand, this seems like a holy thing to do, but curiously, the Torah mandates that a Nazir brings a sin offering once his term is up. The Rabbis tell us that one of the question that we’re going to be asked in the world to come is “Did we abstain from permissible pleasures?” and that this is the sin require the offering of the Nazir.
There’s also an incident with King David’s son Absalom. He was known for his beautiful long hair. When King David was older, Absalom mounted a rebellion and tried to seize power. He was eventually killed when his hair got caught on a tree branch which pulled him off his horse.
Since we’re talking about hair; we can’t ignore the laws of hair coverings for both men and women.
Bringing it all together… there seems to be a running them that excessive attention to outward appearance, specifically hair, is not looked favorably upon. On the contrary, excessive vanity or focus on self-importance can lead someone down a bad path. Even the Nazir, who seems to be holy, at first glance needs to bring a sin offering. It seems like his hair growth and abstention of permissible pleasures may be rooted in a feeling that he’s holier then other people or spiritual vanity.
This isn’t to say that we should walking around looking like slobs, but we do need to make sure that we’re focused on our actions and the thoughts inside our head instead of the hair that grows out of it.
For some reason, my 5 year old son though there was something hysterical about Joseph curling his hair and for the past week has been running around, making a silly voice, and saying “Look at me. I’m curling my hair.” My laughter probably encourages him.
On a serious note, it seems like Joseph’s attention to his appearance was not looked favorably in heaven. In this week’s parsha, when Joseph was summoned by Pharaoh, Rashi says that he shaved his hair out of respect for royalty. After meeting Pharaoh, Joseph quickly becomes appointed Viceroy (second in command) of Egypt.
As soon as I read about the shaving, I thought to myself… could there be a correlation between Joseph’s troubles & good luck and what Joseph did with his hair?
It may sound a little strange at first, but let’s refresh ourselves on the Torah’s description of a Nazir. A Nazir is a legal status in Judaism where someone stops drinking wine, or any other grape product, avoids ritual impurity and does not cut their hair for a set amount of days. On one hand, this seems like a holy thing to do, but curiously, the Torah mandates that a Nazir brings a sin offering once his term is up. The Rabbis tell us that one of the question that we’re going to be asked in the world to come is “Did we abstain from permissible pleasures?” and that this is the sin require the offering of the Nazir.
There’s also an incident with King David’s son Absalom. He was known for his beautiful long hair. When King David was older, Absalom mounted a rebellion and tried to seize power. He was eventually killed when his hair got caught on a tree branch which pulled him off his horse.
Since we’re talking about hair; we can’t ignore the laws of hair coverings for both men and women.
Bringing it all together… there seems to be a running them that excessive attention to outward appearance, specifically hair, is not looked favorably upon. On the contrary, excessive vanity or focus on self-importance can lead someone down a bad path. Even the Nazir, who seems to be holy, at first glance needs to bring a sin offering. It seems like his hair growth and abstention of permissible pleasures may be rooted in a feeling that he’s holier then other people or spiritual vanity.
This isn’t to say that we should walking around looking like slobs, but we do need to make sure that we’re focused on our actions and the thoughts inside our head instead of the hair that grows out of it.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Dear Beth, My mother doesn’t keep kosher and I have to go to her house for dinner. What should I do?
Dear Beth,
My parents are hosting thanksgiving dinner this year. My mother called me and told me that I have to be there… No excuses. I grew up in a relatively traditional home. We didn’t eat bacon or anything, but over the past couple years I’ve started to keep kosher. I’ve tried explaining to my mother that I keep kosher, she doesn’t and I don’t want to eat her food anymore until she starts keeping kosher. It didn’t go over too well. I know that she won’t accept know for an answer. My mother doesn’t keep kosher and I have to go to her house for dinner. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable Dinner Guest
* If you haven’t figured it out by know, this is a fictional letter, but an issue that most of us B.T.s go through. Welcome to my new segment… Dear BETH? (I tried to come up with a more masculine name with the letters B.T.H. – Ba’al Teshuvas Handbook, but I couldn’t think of one.
Dear Uncomfortable Dinner Guest,
This is definitely a tough situation.
I’m going to first deal with the relationship between your Jewish observance and your mom. When Jews start to learn and observe for the first time, they often experience something that my wife calls “the Baal Teshuva high.” This is when they’re so excited about the truth that they discovered they want to share it with the world. While this enthusiasm is excellent, it should ideally be tempered with the reality that some people aren’t ready to hear it. With most people, it mellows out after a while, but before that it happens it has the potential to do some relationship damage. From your mother’s perspective, she gave birth to you, raised you, and fed you. Presumably, you grew up to be a health adult and now you’re rejecting the very nourishment that aided in your physical and emotional growth. If not balanced correctly, this can leave her feeling rejected, insecure and afraid of disintegration of your relationship. Your parents may not see your new choices as a rejection of certain food, but a rejection of them. To counter balance this, it’s advisable to step up the communication and activity that’s permissible. If you don’t show up to her Saturday afternoon birthday party, she’s going to be upset. Make up for it, by calling more often and spending more time with her. You can invite her to your home, a kosher restaurant, a movie, a play or whatever that you both enjoy together that doesn’t involve non kosher food or going to Shabbas. Reassure her how much you love her. You can also ask questions about her grandparents and great grandparents. Chances are that they were much more observant than she is. This may be a subtle hint that you haven’t joined some strange cult. You’re simply rediscovering what your family may have lost for a couple generations.
That’s all well and good, but it still may not get you out of going over your parent’s house for dinner with causing world war three. There are several tips for what to do in these situations.
1. Eat before you get there. - If you show up to a place with non kosher food while you’re hungry, temptation may get the better of you. Even if it doesn’t you may be a little grumpy, because you’re so hungry, and that won’t exactly help defuse any potential volatile situations.
2. Help serve – While you’re helping serve or doing something else to help, you won’t be sitting at the table and noticeably not eating. Don’t worry about serving non kosher food up. As I understand the Jewish law, you can pass someone non kosher food assuming that they have the ability to get it themselves. Example: If you’re sitting at the table and the Jew next to you asks you to pass the plate of bacon. It’s OK to do it, because if you don’t, they’ll get it themselves. If they ask you to stop at a store 50 miles away while driving there and ask you to pick up some bacon, you should probably avoid their request since they’re not realistically go for an hour car ride for some bacon.
3. Bring something you can eat – This way people won’t see you empty handed and start the harassment.
4. Look around – In the most non-kosher kitchens around, there is typically something kosher. You can probably find some potato chips or pretzels around with a reliable kosher symbol. You can stand around and eat them if your family’s not so formal.
5. Kid escape – Kids can’t sit anywhere too long. If you have some kids at the table, chances are they’ll get up after a few minutes and get into something. Go after them and play with them. It gets you away from the table and that’s a good thing. Quick note: Before I became religious, I used the same strategy with my nephews to get me out of sitting through the Pesach Seder.
6. Drink a lot of water – You’ll keep moving around to refill your glass and go to the bathroom. Any excuse to get away from the table is a good one.
7. Help clear – Keep getting up in between courses to help.
8. North, South, East, West – If left with no other alternative, put a little food on your plate and move it around in 4 directions. Chances are, nobody will really notice.
These situations are definitely challenging. After a while though, with reassurance that you still love them, your parents will probably slowly accept your new found decision and deal with it. They may even open themselves up to the truth that you have to share.
My parents are hosting thanksgiving dinner this year. My mother called me and told me that I have to be there… No excuses. I grew up in a relatively traditional home. We didn’t eat bacon or anything, but over the past couple years I’ve started to keep kosher. I’ve tried explaining to my mother that I keep kosher, she doesn’t and I don’t want to eat her food anymore until she starts keeping kosher. It didn’t go over too well. I know that she won’t accept know for an answer. My mother doesn’t keep kosher and I have to go to her house for dinner. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable Dinner Guest
* If you haven’t figured it out by know, this is a fictional letter, but an issue that most of us B.T.s go through. Welcome to my new segment… Dear BETH? (I tried to come up with a more masculine name with the letters B.T.H. – Ba’al Teshuvas Handbook, but I couldn’t think of one.
Dear Uncomfortable Dinner Guest,
This is definitely a tough situation.
I’m going to first deal with the relationship between your Jewish observance and your mom. When Jews start to learn and observe for the first time, they often experience something that my wife calls “the Baal Teshuva high.” This is when they’re so excited about the truth that they discovered they want to share it with the world. While this enthusiasm is excellent, it should ideally be tempered with the reality that some people aren’t ready to hear it. With most people, it mellows out after a while, but before that it happens it has the potential to do some relationship damage. From your mother’s perspective, she gave birth to you, raised you, and fed you. Presumably, you grew up to be a health adult and now you’re rejecting the very nourishment that aided in your physical and emotional growth. If not balanced correctly, this can leave her feeling rejected, insecure and afraid of disintegration of your relationship. Your parents may not see your new choices as a rejection of certain food, but a rejection of them. To counter balance this, it’s advisable to step up the communication and activity that’s permissible. If you don’t show up to her Saturday afternoon birthday party, she’s going to be upset. Make up for it, by calling more often and spending more time with her. You can invite her to your home, a kosher restaurant, a movie, a play or whatever that you both enjoy together that doesn’t involve non kosher food or going to Shabbas. Reassure her how much you love her. You can also ask questions about her grandparents and great grandparents. Chances are that they were much more observant than she is. This may be a subtle hint that you haven’t joined some strange cult. You’re simply rediscovering what your family may have lost for a couple generations.
That’s all well and good, but it still may not get you out of going over your parent’s house for dinner with causing world war three. There are several tips for what to do in these situations.
1. Eat before you get there. - If you show up to a place with non kosher food while you’re hungry, temptation may get the better of you. Even if it doesn’t you may be a little grumpy, because you’re so hungry, and that won’t exactly help defuse any potential volatile situations.
2. Help serve – While you’re helping serve or doing something else to help, you won’t be sitting at the table and noticeably not eating. Don’t worry about serving non kosher food up. As I understand the Jewish law, you can pass someone non kosher food assuming that they have the ability to get it themselves. Example: If you’re sitting at the table and the Jew next to you asks you to pass the plate of bacon. It’s OK to do it, because if you don’t, they’ll get it themselves. If they ask you to stop at a store 50 miles away while driving there and ask you to pick up some bacon, you should probably avoid their request since they’re not realistically go for an hour car ride for some bacon.
3. Bring something you can eat – This way people won’t see you empty handed and start the harassment.
4. Look around – In the most non-kosher kitchens around, there is typically something kosher. You can probably find some potato chips or pretzels around with a reliable kosher symbol. You can stand around and eat them if your family’s not so formal.
5. Kid escape – Kids can’t sit anywhere too long. If you have some kids at the table, chances are they’ll get up after a few minutes and get into something. Go after them and play with them. It gets you away from the table and that’s a good thing. Quick note: Before I became religious, I used the same strategy with my nephews to get me out of sitting through the Pesach Seder.
6. Drink a lot of water – You’ll keep moving around to refill your glass and go to the bathroom. Any excuse to get away from the table is a good one.
7. Help clear – Keep getting up in between courses to help.
8. North, South, East, West – If left with no other alternative, put a little food on your plate and move it around in 4 directions. Chances are, nobody will really notice.
These situations are definitely challenging. After a while though, with reassurance that you still love them, your parents will probably slowly accept your new found decision and deal with it. They may even open themselves up to the truth that you have to share.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
When does one know enough to be a heretic? a Yud Beis Tammuz story
On the 12th day of the Hebrew month of Tammuz, Lubavicthers around the world celebrate the release of the Sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe also known as the Frierdiker (previous) Rebbe of blessed memory from Russian prison. During his imprisonment his chief prison guard who was in charge of the Rebbe’s interrogation was a Jew. Not only was he a Jew, he was the grandson of a chassid. In his famous verbal attack on the Rebbe, he said something like “Now you’re dealing with a real apikoros (heretic).” The Rebbe responded “You’re not an apikoros. You’re just an am ha’aretz (literally a man of the earth, but in this case, a fool.) The statement is funny and usually brings smiles at the fabrengen, but when does someone know enough where they are no longer an am ha’aretz and become apikoros? Even more practical is, as Ba’al Teshuvas, when are we held accountable for our actions?
Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, also known as the Rambam tells us that there is a leniency in heavenly judgment for Jews who have been kidnapped by gentiles and raised in their homes. Since they were not raised with a proper Jewish education and environment, they should not be held fully accountable for their actions. The Rabbis tell us that everyone in our generation, Ba’al Teshuvas especially, have this status today. While the countries that live in today, especially America have been nicer to Jews than any other country in history, our living in an environment that supported religious observance has been lacking. The question that I have is as we grow in our Judaism, when does this status change, if ever?
When we read the Torah, we see how our forefathers were on such a high level that their sins sometimes brought about immediate punishment as witnessed in Parsha Vayshev with the two oldest sons of Judah, Er & Onan. In our lifetimes, we don’t see such immediate punishment, but presumably, some of our actions bring punishment and some don’t depending on what rung of the spiritual latter that we’re standing on at the time we commit the sin. If someone was brought up with no concept of keeping kosher, and they one day choose to take the bacon off of their bacon cheese burger, most of us would acknowledge that they’re taking a big step in the right direction. I would imagine that the heavenly reaction to this would also be positive. However if the same person learns and grows until they become a religiously observant Jew, but then goes back to have that same bacon-less cheeseburger, I would imagine that both ours and the heavenly reaction would be quite different. Somewhere in that time, this person knew enough and reached a new spiritual level where they accepted upon themselves the mitzvah of kashrus and with that came the potential for punishment for violating those laws.
I once heard a Rabbi ask the question: How can one define the word “Mitzvah”? The class threw out a whole host of answers… a good thing to do… something moral… commandment… rule.... a connection and development of the relationship with G-d… etc. While he acknowledged that all of these answers were correct, he proposed that a mitzvah is a self imposed limit on our physical choices and activity. If someone chooses to keep kosher then they are limiting what they can eat. The same holds true for Shabbas, prayer or any other mitzvah that we can think of.
It would seem that this new limit has an opposite reaction in heaven. Before a Ba’al Teshuva chooses to keep kosher, his choices are not limited, but the punishment for making those choices appears to be limited, or at least watered down. As well, the heavenly energy that mirrors this mitzvah is held back. As he limits his own choices by taking on different mitzvahs, his responsibility increases and the consequences for conscious failure along with the positive spiritual reaction appear to break through their previous limits and increase. Therefore it would seem that we become more responsible for our actions and we take on the responsibility of choosing to learn Torah and accept mitzvahs.
Some might think that the best solution is to remain ignorant of mitzvahs to avoid potential judgment, but it would seem that we’re not only judged on what we know, but what we should know. Both us and Hakodesh Barachu know both our limitations and our potential. As the story goes, the holy Reb Zusha was approaching the end of his life when his students found him crying. When they asked why he was crying, he explained that when he enters his final judgment, he’s not afraid of being asked why he wasn’t Avraham or Moshe, because he didn’t have the same capabilities and talents as them. He was only afraid of being asked, Zushe, why weren’t you Zushe? Why didn’t you accomplish the tests that you had the power to pass or live up to your own potential on any given day?
As Ba’al Teshuvas, we need to constantly strive to climb the spiritual latter and strive to release more heavenly light in this world to the limits of our potential. As we choose to limit our physical choices, we’re actually removing the limitations of Hashem’s infinite light.
Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon, also known as the Rambam tells us that there is a leniency in heavenly judgment for Jews who have been kidnapped by gentiles and raised in their homes. Since they were not raised with a proper Jewish education and environment, they should not be held fully accountable for their actions. The Rabbis tell us that everyone in our generation, Ba’al Teshuvas especially, have this status today. While the countries that live in today, especially America have been nicer to Jews than any other country in history, our living in an environment that supported religious observance has been lacking. The question that I have is as we grow in our Judaism, when does this status change, if ever?
When we read the Torah, we see how our forefathers were on such a high level that their sins sometimes brought about immediate punishment as witnessed in Parsha Vayshev with the two oldest sons of Judah, Er & Onan. In our lifetimes, we don’t see such immediate punishment, but presumably, some of our actions bring punishment and some don’t depending on what rung of the spiritual latter that we’re standing on at the time we commit the sin. If someone was brought up with no concept of keeping kosher, and they one day choose to take the bacon off of their bacon cheese burger, most of us would acknowledge that they’re taking a big step in the right direction. I would imagine that the heavenly reaction to this would also be positive. However if the same person learns and grows until they become a religiously observant Jew, but then goes back to have that same bacon-less cheeseburger, I would imagine that both ours and the heavenly reaction would be quite different. Somewhere in that time, this person knew enough and reached a new spiritual level where they accepted upon themselves the mitzvah of kashrus and with that came the potential for punishment for violating those laws.
I once heard a Rabbi ask the question: How can one define the word “Mitzvah”? The class threw out a whole host of answers… a good thing to do… something moral… commandment… rule.... a connection and development of the relationship with G-d… etc. While he acknowledged that all of these answers were correct, he proposed that a mitzvah is a self imposed limit on our physical choices and activity. If someone chooses to keep kosher then they are limiting what they can eat. The same holds true for Shabbas, prayer or any other mitzvah that we can think of.
It would seem that this new limit has an opposite reaction in heaven. Before a Ba’al Teshuva chooses to keep kosher, his choices are not limited, but the punishment for making those choices appears to be limited, or at least watered down. As well, the heavenly energy that mirrors this mitzvah is held back. As he limits his own choices by taking on different mitzvahs, his responsibility increases and the consequences for conscious failure along with the positive spiritual reaction appear to break through their previous limits and increase. Therefore it would seem that we become more responsible for our actions and we take on the responsibility of choosing to learn Torah and accept mitzvahs.
Some might think that the best solution is to remain ignorant of mitzvahs to avoid potential judgment, but it would seem that we’re not only judged on what we know, but what we should know. Both us and Hakodesh Barachu know both our limitations and our potential. As the story goes, the holy Reb Zusha was approaching the end of his life when his students found him crying. When they asked why he was crying, he explained that when he enters his final judgment, he’s not afraid of being asked why he wasn’t Avraham or Moshe, because he didn’t have the same capabilities and talents as them. He was only afraid of being asked, Zushe, why weren’t you Zushe? Why didn’t you accomplish the tests that you had the power to pass or live up to your own potential on any given day?
As Ba’al Teshuvas, we need to constantly strive to climb the spiritual latter and strive to release more heavenly light in this world to the limits of our potential. As we choose to limit our physical choices, we’re actually removing the limitations of Hashem’s infinite light.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Torah Thought: Parsha Vayeshev
As part of our usual routine, when I was putting my 5 year old son to bed the other night, after we turn the lights out, we lie together and talk about our days. Lately he’s been playing a game where he gets out of bed and pretends his radio is a microphone and we ask each other questions about the weekly Torah portion.
When I asked him what happened in this week parsha, he made a very silly face, started strutting around the room and in a silly voice said “Look at me… Look at my coat… My coat is so pretty…. Look at me… Look at me.” I didn’t know if Joseph really strutted in this week’s parsha, but my son obviously got the point that Joseph was showing off in front of his brothers.
After he stopped strutting, he told me that Joseph was “being jealoush” by showing off his coat in front of his brothers. I tried to correct both his pronunciation of the word “jealoush” and explained that Joseph wasn’t acting jealous. He was acting conceited or possibly arrogant, but it was really his brothers who were acting jealous of the attention that Joseph got from his father Jacob. The Rabbis tell us that Jacob gave more attention to Joseph for many reasons:
1. Joseph was born when Jacob was older. For those of us with more then one child, our temperament seems to change as we get more experience parenting.
2. Joseph was the first born to Rachel, who Jacob loved more than any other wife.
3. Joseph displayed an outstanding capacity for Torah study & mitzvah observance. Hence he’s the only person who carries the title “Righteous” as he’s typically known Yosef HaTzadik.
All of that being said, it’s understandable why the brothers might have been jealous of Joseph.
Despite the evidence to the contrary and my assurance, my 5 year old insisted that Joseph was the one being jealoush.
Later that night, I started thinking about why people show off or act conceited. What is it about human nature that influences some people to act like their better then other people?
To be clear, conceit and confidence are two different things. Michael Jordan knowing that he’s the best basketball player alive is confidence. Michael Jordan walking around saying “I’m the greatest basketball player alive” over and over again is conceited.
It occurred to be that the only reason that someone acts conceited is because there’s something that they’re not getting that they want. It could be respect, love or admiration, but they’re clearly seeking something. Jacob had 10 half brothers that were much older than him and had a stronger bond between them. He had one brother from both parents who was much younger at this time. His mother had recently passed away. It would seem that Joseph’s conceit was the manifestation of his desire for the brotherly love that the sons of Jacob and Leah had for each other and in fact the origin of his conceited actions was the jealousy of that love.
I once heard that children teach their parents as much if not more then parents teach their children. In this case, it’s certainly true.
The lessons are clear. We should stay away from jealousy and conceit. If someone’s acting conceited, it may because they need some sort of emotional recognition. Last, but not least, the lack of brotherly love among Jews is the cause of most of our problems and also shows us the key to our redemption.
When I asked him what happened in this week parsha, he made a very silly face, started strutting around the room and in a silly voice said “Look at me… Look at my coat… My coat is so pretty…. Look at me… Look at me.” I didn’t know if Joseph really strutted in this week’s parsha, but my son obviously got the point that Joseph was showing off in front of his brothers.
After he stopped strutting, he told me that Joseph was “being jealoush” by showing off his coat in front of his brothers. I tried to correct both his pronunciation of the word “jealoush” and explained that Joseph wasn’t acting jealous. He was acting conceited or possibly arrogant, but it was really his brothers who were acting jealous of the attention that Joseph got from his father Jacob. The Rabbis tell us that Jacob gave more attention to Joseph for many reasons:
1. Joseph was born when Jacob was older. For those of us with more then one child, our temperament seems to change as we get more experience parenting.
2. Joseph was the first born to Rachel, who Jacob loved more than any other wife.
3. Joseph displayed an outstanding capacity for Torah study & mitzvah observance. Hence he’s the only person who carries the title “Righteous” as he’s typically known Yosef HaTzadik.
All of that being said, it’s understandable why the brothers might have been jealous of Joseph.
Despite the evidence to the contrary and my assurance, my 5 year old insisted that Joseph was the one being jealoush.
Later that night, I started thinking about why people show off or act conceited. What is it about human nature that influences some people to act like their better then other people?
To be clear, conceit and confidence are two different things. Michael Jordan knowing that he’s the best basketball player alive is confidence. Michael Jordan walking around saying “I’m the greatest basketball player alive” over and over again is conceited.
It occurred to be that the only reason that someone acts conceited is because there’s something that they’re not getting that they want. It could be respect, love or admiration, but they’re clearly seeking something. Jacob had 10 half brothers that were much older than him and had a stronger bond between them. He had one brother from both parents who was much younger at this time. His mother had recently passed away. It would seem that Joseph’s conceit was the manifestation of his desire for the brotherly love that the sons of Jacob and Leah had for each other and in fact the origin of his conceited actions was the jealousy of that love.
I once heard that children teach their parents as much if not more then parents teach their children. In this case, it’s certainly true.
The lessons are clear. We should stay away from jealousy and conceit. If someone’s acting conceited, it may because they need some sort of emotional recognition. Last, but not least, the lack of brotherly love among Jews is the cause of most of our problems and also shows us the key to our redemption.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Torah Thought: Parsha Vayishlach
Last weeks Torah portion ends with Jacob’s clandestine escape from his Uncle Laban followed by Laban catching up with him and finally a peace treaty after some back forth.
In this week’s parsha, things go from bad to worse for Jacob. Here’s what happens this week:
1. Jacob prepares for his encounter with his brother Eisav who’s coming to meet him. Normally when brothers see each other for the first time in many years, its hugs and kisses. Considering that the last encounter they had together that the Torah tells us about is Jacob ran for his life after he used some trickery to take Eisav’s blessing from his father and Eisav wanted some payback. Since Eisav was known to be a warrior, Jacob was afraid.
2. As he’s preparing for Eisav, Jacob is attacked by a man, who the Rabbi’s tell us was really an angel and even though he was victorious, was wounded in the encounter.
3. After Jacob hides his daughter, Dina, in a trunk and his son Joseph protects his mother Rachel, Jacob survives his encounter with Eisav. (Some say that in the encounter, Eisav tried to pull a Dracula move and take a bite our of Jacob’s neck, but was stopped by heavenly protection)
4. After all of this, you would expect Jacob to finally get a break… think again. When Jacob and his family settle in the city of Shechem, his daughter Dina gets kidnapped and violated by the Prince of the land.
5. When Jacob’s sons here about what happened, instead of rescuing Dina and escaping, two of his sons, Shimon & Levi, decide to kill every man in the city. This scares Jacob, because now he’s afraid that neighboring cities will ban together and start a war with him.
6. Next… his mother Rebecca dies along with her nurse Deborah.
7. From worse to even worse, his primary wife Rachel dies in the childbirth of his youngest son Benjamin.
8. On a strange note, his oldest son Reuben either has an affair with or does something improper with Jacob’s wife Bilah. (Reuben’s mother was Leah, not Bilah)
9. Next… his father Isaac dies.
Wow… when I first got the idea to write about Jacob’s bad week, I didn’t even realize how bad this parsha was for him.
Just so you don’t think that this week’s Torah portion ends the troubles for Jacob… not quite. Next week’s portion details fighting between Jacob’s favorite son Joseph and most of his other sons and it eventually ends with them selling Joseph into slavery and telling Jacob that Joseph died… something which he never recovers from. In a couple weeks from now, in our time, and 22 years in the life of Jacob, he discovers Joseph is really alive, reunites the family and finally lives in peace.
This week I couldn’t stop asking myself: Why did Jacob had such a hard life? He’s considered to be the culmination of our forefathers so it didn’t make sense to me.
In scientific fashion, I thought about the parts of Jacob’s life that weren’t so hard with the hope that it would shed some light on the situation. They were his younger years before he fought with Eisav and had to flee and the final years of his life when he lived in Egypt with his remaining wives and all of his children and grandchildren.
A story in Talmud brought the answer home for me. It tells us that the Holy Temple was destroyed, because of baseless hatred among Jews. It also tells us that every generation that does not see the Temple rebuilt is as if they destroyed it which implies, we will not merit the Messiah until we counteract the baseless hatred with unconditional love for each other (Ahavis Yisroael).
Jacob’s troubles started when the fighting started between him and his brother. It continued with fighting between him and his Uncle, his wife Rachel with his wife Leah, and finally the sons of Leah fighting with the oldest son of Rachel. It wasn’t until all the fighting ceased that he could finally live in Shalom (peace).
In this week’s parsha, things go from bad to worse for Jacob. Here’s what happens this week:
1. Jacob prepares for his encounter with his brother Eisav who’s coming to meet him. Normally when brothers see each other for the first time in many years, its hugs and kisses. Considering that the last encounter they had together that the Torah tells us about is Jacob ran for his life after he used some trickery to take Eisav’s blessing from his father and Eisav wanted some payback. Since Eisav was known to be a warrior, Jacob was afraid.
2. As he’s preparing for Eisav, Jacob is attacked by a man, who the Rabbi’s tell us was really an angel and even though he was victorious, was wounded in the encounter.
3. After Jacob hides his daughter, Dina, in a trunk and his son Joseph protects his mother Rachel, Jacob survives his encounter with Eisav. (Some say that in the encounter, Eisav tried to pull a Dracula move and take a bite our of Jacob’s neck, but was stopped by heavenly protection)
4. After all of this, you would expect Jacob to finally get a break… think again. When Jacob and his family settle in the city of Shechem, his daughter Dina gets kidnapped and violated by the Prince of the land.
5. When Jacob’s sons here about what happened, instead of rescuing Dina and escaping, two of his sons, Shimon & Levi, decide to kill every man in the city. This scares Jacob, because now he’s afraid that neighboring cities will ban together and start a war with him.
6. Next… his mother Rebecca dies along with her nurse Deborah.
7. From worse to even worse, his primary wife Rachel dies in the childbirth of his youngest son Benjamin.
8. On a strange note, his oldest son Reuben either has an affair with or does something improper with Jacob’s wife Bilah. (Reuben’s mother was Leah, not Bilah)
9. Next… his father Isaac dies.
Wow… when I first got the idea to write about Jacob’s bad week, I didn’t even realize how bad this parsha was for him.
Just so you don’t think that this week’s Torah portion ends the troubles for Jacob… not quite. Next week’s portion details fighting between Jacob’s favorite son Joseph and most of his other sons and it eventually ends with them selling Joseph into slavery and telling Jacob that Joseph died… something which he never recovers from. In a couple weeks from now, in our time, and 22 years in the life of Jacob, he discovers Joseph is really alive, reunites the family and finally lives in peace.
This week I couldn’t stop asking myself: Why did Jacob had such a hard life? He’s considered to be the culmination of our forefathers so it didn’t make sense to me.
In scientific fashion, I thought about the parts of Jacob’s life that weren’t so hard with the hope that it would shed some light on the situation. They were his younger years before he fought with Eisav and had to flee and the final years of his life when he lived in Egypt with his remaining wives and all of his children and grandchildren.
A story in Talmud brought the answer home for me. It tells us that the Holy Temple was destroyed, because of baseless hatred among Jews. It also tells us that every generation that does not see the Temple rebuilt is as if they destroyed it which implies, we will not merit the Messiah until we counteract the baseless hatred with unconditional love for each other (Ahavis Yisroael).
Jacob’s troubles started when the fighting started between him and his brother. It continued with fighting between him and his Uncle, his wife Rachel with his wife Leah, and finally the sons of Leah fighting with the oldest son of Rachel. It wasn’t until all the fighting ceased that he could finally live in Shalom (peace).
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